


Inside Out & Back Again

by VJR22_6



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Running Away, abuse recovery, and she hurt lena and that’s this fic, magica is mentioned several times but doesn’t actually appear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25599991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VJR22_6/pseuds/VJR22_6
Summary: Lena was taught to bottle herself up, and she learned to fear hurting others. With Ty and Indy looking after her, her world starts to change, but it takes things getting bad for her to realize they can get better, too.
Relationships: Lena (Disney: DuckTales) & Indy Sabrewing, Lena (Disney: DuckTales) & Ty Sabrewing, Lena (Disney: DuckTales) & Violet Sabrewing
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	Inside Out & Back Again

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again all!!! First off I’m back, woo-oo! It has been a while. As we all know life is bad and not good right now, but it’ll all turn out okay I think.
> 
> Second, I want to say a big huge thanks to the Twitter Ducktales community. I was voted best writer and I know they’re dumb awards that don’t do a thing but being told, by 43 votes, that my writing matters? That I’m not doing this in vain? Big impact on me. So thank you, all of you, for reminding me why I write.
> 
> Lastly, as you’ll notice when you get to the final scene of this fic, it’s a rewrite of one of the absolute peaks of cinema, the ending to Inside Out. Monumentally emotional. AND, special fun quarantine bonus for you all, I *drew* the ending to this. You can find it on Twitter or Tumblr at https://twitter.com/vi_sabrewing/status/1288630189165965312?s=21 or https://scroogemcdyke.tumblr.com/post/625023242707599360/inside-out-back-again.
> 
> Thanks again, gaymers, for all of your support. Drop me a comment to show some appreciation if you like this fic!

When Violet invites Lena to her home, to take the spare bed and share in her space and her possessions, Lena expects it to only last for a few days. After all, the only reason she’s here is so Vi can “observe her magic” straight out of the shadow realm. That shouldn’t take that long.

Instead, Indy and Ty are quick to move the bed from the spare bedroom into Violet’s room, to set a fourth place at the table every night, to offer her the chance to pick the movie for their family movie night. They open their home for her and give her everything they give Violet, from her first night there. She’s not sure what makes them so willing to accept such a troublemaker into their home, but she’s sure this is conditional. Why wouldn’t it be? They just want to be sure she doesn’t go evil and cause another Shadow War so they’re keeping an eye on her.

She spends a lot of nights awake in her first few weeks there. She never slept much when she was in the shadow realm, and despite the realistic nightmares ending when they chased Magica off, she still has regular ones, and she’s still restless because of them. Often she’s left awake, staring out into the dark and watching over Violet just in case Magica comes back.

It’s one of these nights that gets a bad ball rolling for her. The insomnia’s in full effect, and she’s nervous about Magica and consequently endangering the Sabrewings. She’s curled up on the windowsill so she has a good view of the whole room and the backyard behind her, and the glass windowpane is cold against her shoulder.

She’s not sure how much longer they’ll let her stay. This was never designed to be a permanent arrangement and she knows everyone assumes she’s trouble. Beakley called her a bad influence, and she’s still stinging from Scrooge calling her a traitor even though she knows he realized the truth. Surely the Sabrewings think she’s no good for Violet, too.

She’s trying hard to be better, it’s just… she was never taught how to.

The rug will come up from under her before long, she knows. It always did before. When she was a scrappy little kid shoplifting to keep herself fed, when she spent her time hiding in abandoned buildings to avoid bad weather, just plain everything with Magica, it always ended in her being chased away, yelled at, or hurt. Everything does for her. She’s just hoping she can protect the people around her from the same pain.

She looks across the room to Violet, who is all but buried in blankets as she sleeps. “I can’t stay here,” she whispers, heart hurting. “I don’t want you to be caught up in my freaky shadow problems or whatever.”

 _“We want to be in on your freaky problems. No more secrets, okay?”_ Webby’s voice comes from a corner of her mind. The memory aches—of course Webby would help her, she fought for Lena’s homecoming for so long—but ultimately she can’t risk anybody else getting hurt because of her again. She draws her knees to her chest, holds herself close, and makes up her mind.

“I have to go.”

It doesn’t take her long to be ready to run. She doesn’t exactly have anything to pack, just her phone. She supposes she can stop by the old amphitheater on her way out of town, if she’s lucky she’ll have a few of her old things left there that she can use on her way. But in leaving the Sabrewings, she’s on her own.

She decides to go after Violet leaves to hang out at the library a few days later. She cares about her nerd friend far more than she wants to admit, and she’s afraid if she takes the time to say goodbye she won’t go at all. No. The fear and frustration at her situation fade the more she leans into this plan, and by the morning she’s ready to go, she’s numb to it all.

Violet’s grabbing her backpack when Lena heads downstairs to leave. She ducks into the kitchen so she doesn’t catch her friend’s eye, and leans against the wall so she doesn’t have to watch Vi leave for the last time.

Violet’s dads worry over sending her off, as usual, and she reassures them, also as usual, that she’s going to be fine. “I’ll be back in time for dinner, take the main roads home, and I’ve been practicing my magic. If I run into any trouble, I can handle myself.”

“Just don’t go looking for any,” Indy jokes lightly. Lena hears a soft groan, probably Ty, and there’s a soft pause. A hug goodbye, she assumes, even though they’ll see each other again in only a few hours.

 _Where’s my hug goodbye? When is it my turn?_ Lena thinks sarcastically. Living shadows don’t get the love a daughter does. She’s accepted her fate without that sort of thing in it, especially given she’s leaving the only people who would love her behind. But it’s going to protect them in the long run, so she figures it’s for the best.

Violet leaves, and the front door clicks closed, and Lena takes a deep breath. She turns and heads for the front door, and Indy ruffles her bangs on his way back to the kitchen.

“Have a good day, Lena!”

“Uh huh,” she makes a face when he touches her, but it’s no more than an act. It reminds her of when Dewey’s mom ruffles his hair and Lena aches for the things she’s never had.

“Make sure you let us know if you’ll be late getting home, alright?” Ty requests, gesturing to her cell phone. “Or if you get into any trouble. We’re both more than happy to help.”

She doesn’t respond past a halfhearted shrug, instead opting to just head for the door. She feels like her mouth is stuffed with cotton and if she opens it no sound would come out, even if she knew what she wanted to say. As the big front door creaks open, she hears Indy behind her, softly. “She’s got a good head on her shoulders, Ty. I trust her to make good choices.”

“I know,” he responds. “I do too.”

Lena wonders why they’re talking like she’s gone already, but figures they just don’t care. They probably don’t, anyway, who would care about the dumb shadow kid, beyond making sure she’s not turning out like her aunt? And she’s… she’s fine with that. She’s fine with them saying nice things to pretend they care before things get bad again, she… she is. She’s fine.

The Sabrewings’ house faces Killmotor Hill, and she looks up at it as she sets out on her journey. The winding driveway up, the tall tower where the boys’ bedroom is, the spot where she knows Webby’s little attic bedroom is. She hates to leave that behind, all the memories and happiness.

She regrets leaving Webby the most. After all, Webby did fight to bring her home for months. She thinks about the Other Bin incident and the Terrafirmians and even their first adventure, being the Beagle Birds. But then she remembers Magica’s red eyes following her on every one of those trips, whispering for her to hurt people, and she starts walking fast to shake the bad feeling away.

She heads down a small street, keeping her head down. The last thing she wants is confrontation right now. Fortunately, she doesn’t run into anyone. The streets are fairly empty given it’s midmorning on a weekday, and it’s cloudy at that. Not exactly a good day to be out and about.

Thunder rumbles overhead. It’s dark out despite the sun being high in the sky, and Lena pulls her sweater sleeves over her hands. A shiver traces her spine, and she looks around anxiously, expecting to see familiar faces around every turn. She’s just alone, though, completely alone, for perhaps the first time in her life.

She always had Magica breathing down her neck, for as long as her memory goes back. Haunting red eyes, whispers of malintent guiding her until she found a world beyond those shadowy claws. Then, in the Shadow Realm, she stuck by Webby’s side. Even though she was technically alone then, she never felt like it. She always felt safe and comfortable, even if she was sad she wouldn’t get to be with Webby where they could see each other or talk. She had awful days, some of her worst, when she wanted to reassure Webby they’d both be okay but went unheard or when she discovered Magica was still lurking in the streets, waiting for the moment to hurt someone else.

Out in this dark street, however, with rumbling clouds above signaling an approaching storm, she’s completely on her own. The sky will break and she will be caught in the rain, and nobody will be there for her.

“Better get used to that,” she mutters to herself. She makes the last corner of her route to the amphitheatre and spots her old home up ahead. “Once I leave here I can’t come back to Duckberg.”

The amphitheater’s been ransacked, everything of value gone. Just an empty backpack, her ratty blanket, and a few scattered things she had forgotten were here. Her posters, her lava lamp, even her blackout curtains are gone. She can’t bring herself to care much, if someone wanted those enough to take she supposes they needed them more than she’s going to, wherever she ends up.

She shoves her blanket into the backpack and finds her journal on the bed, half-buried by said blanket. Vaguely she recalls Webby mentioning finding it. She shoves it in the bag, and glances around. There’s mostly garbage here, just old food wrappers and newspapers. And it’s freezing. She grabs her skeleton hand and a pair of ratty slippers, and surveys her forgotten “home.”

“I’m not gonna miss it here. Specially not after it looks like Christmas post-Grinch,” she jokes half-heartedly, throwing her bag over her shoulder. “Nothing left for me.”

She heads back up, closing the trapdoor. Maybe someone else in a rough spot will find her safe-ish haven and it will help them back to their feet. She’s not sure if she could ever do that herself, though. Her life is full of things like nightmares and outbursts that her past cause her, things that hurt people around her too, and every day is hard enough.

She heads for the bus lines out of town. She’s only got a little bit of money, but it’ll take her to the far side of St Canard maybe. The storm rumbles it’s angry song, rain approaching, and she pushes onward.

The next bus isn’t for a few minutes, so she stops in a corner and catches her breath. She huffs to herself while watching the small crowd on the platform. “Maybe… shouldn’t have… hurried so much... to get here. We’re all gonna leave… at the same time, anyway.”

She stands there for a moment or two, the people around her paying her no notice. Half of her is glad for it, the other is just reminded too much of the shadow realm. Everything is calm for a heartbeat before she feels her phone vibrate. She checks it warily, heart leaping in her chest. “INCOMING CALL: TY SABREWING. ACCEPT/DENY?” 

She taps the red “DENY” button and shoves it into her pocket. Ty’s never called before, except once when he wanted to tell Violet dinner was ready but called her phone instead, and pretended like he meant to call her all along.

Or… did he?

A soft bell sound effect comes from her pocket, and she pulls it out again. He left a voicemail. That’s… weird.

“Hope nobody’s hurt,” she whispers, lifting the phone to her ear.

“Hey, Lena. I know you know this but it’s about to rain, and I wanted to let you know if you get caught in it I can come pick you up so you don’t get wet. Stay indoors if you can, okay? Indy says I worry too much, but I want you to be safe from lightning and all that. Okay, take care and I’ll talk to you tonight.”

Huh. Someone willing to go out of their way to keep her out of the weather, that’s a new one. She latches onto the phrase “I want you to be safe,” rolling it over in her head like clothes in the dryer. She’s pretty sure Magica doesn’t know what that means, and the McDucks had one too many kids to think about that with her. This is….

Lena stares at the yellowed tile of the bus station flooring, and suddenly it’s like a puzzle piece has fit into place and she sees the picture for the first time.

Offering to keep her out of the rain, settling her into their lives and home, ruffling her hair, and the sudden saying nice things as she leaves. They wanted her to hear that, because… because….

All day, Lena’s just been full of anger and anxiety. A messy ball of emotion she was never taught to untangle. But the kindness the Sabrewings are showing her, in everything they do, is impossible to ignore. Her slowly numbing heart suddenly shatters as she’s forced to admit the truth.

Ty and Indy care about her, as genuinely as anyone can, and they want her.

She’s wanted.

Regardless of her outbursts or her insomnia.

She’s found where she needs to go.

And—

And—

She sprints from the bus station, clutching her backpack strap to have something to focus on.

She’s not sure what happens. One minute she’s running from her bad decision, head clouded, and the next she’s on the Sabrewings’ street, shaking like a leaf. Part of that’s the bad weather, but part of it is just the realization that finally, after a lifetime of feeling lost, she’s been found.

She steps up to the front door. There’s a heavy lump in her throat, and her eyes are burning. Why is she about to cry? This is supposed to be good, why does she feel sad about it? Voices from inside the house solve that worry for her.

“—don’t want the girls getting sick or anything.”

“Ty, listen to me, they’ll be fine. The chances of either of them getting sick are minimal at best.”

Maybe it’s okay to feel sad, and to cry when you’re happy, even though Magica said not to. Maybe it’s okay to just let yourself feel bad, and if you find the right people, they’ll take care of you while you do.

She opens the door, and Ty, perched on the arm of the sofa, looks up immediately. “Lena! Oh, there you are, I was worried sick. Are you okay?”

She drops her backpack and avoids both of their eyes, especially when Indy comes rushing over with questions of his own. “You look so sad. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

There’s a long moment of quiet after both of them kneel in front of her, to be at her eye level. Ty puts his hand on her shoulder and for once, she doesn’t shrug the contact away. She can hardly focus on anything but the comforting weight of it. He strokes her cheek, brushing her bangs back, and she thinks of the past.

She thinks of Magica’s claws grazing her cheek in the same motion, but without any of the gentleness. She thinks of Webby hugging her for the very first time, and the wild range of emotions that flooded her before she settled on “happy.” She thinks of playing with the triplets and of how they made her feel when they called her such nice names and treated her so well, all for being herself. She thinks of firing off her magic, of the first time she cast a spell successfully, and the pride in herself that she felt before all else.

She thinks of her past, and despite the overwhelming amount of bad memories, she finds the only ones that matter are the good ones. And she decides that if she wants more, she’s in the perfect place for making them.

Lena cries. She hiccups once, and a sob rolls out of her chest like the rolling thunder outside. She grits her teeth, tears coming in waves. It hurts, so much, it hurts that she’s afraid of herself and it hurts that she’s not even technically real and it hurts that she was led to believe it was wrong to _feel_ and most of all it hurts that she’s been missing out on being loved for so long.

“I know you said you trust me, but….” She hiccups and clutches her arms close to her chest defensively. “I thought you were lying.”

There’s a pause, she thinks of how to phrase what she wants to tell them and they look at each other as if they can’t believe it. Or maybe they just don’t want to hear this and Lena was wrong about it being okay to cry and she’s about to get thrown out for real.

“Everyone was always lying, before.” She hiccups, feeling awful all over. “Magica said I have to always be cool, because— because nobody wanted to hear it. But… I feel bad. I don’t want her to hurt anybody trying to— to hurt me, and… and I don’t wanna hurt anymore.”

There’s a brief pause, and she can’t bring herself to look at them anymore. She can hardly force out a final sentence. “Please don’t be mad.”

“Oh, Lena,” Indy sighs, and takes her hands for a moment. Ty reassures her, “We’re not mad.”

She looks up. Both of their faces are full of the same gentle kindness as always and for once, she sees that for what it is. It’s not pretending, or conditional. It’s just caring.

“It’s okay to hurt,” Ty tells her. “I feel really bad sometimes, too. Inside and out.”

“That’s just part of being human,” Indy continues, smiling a little. “Just part of being normal.”

“I promise, you’re gonna be okay,” Ty murmurs. “Come here.”

She sobs again, feeling like whatever thread she had holding her pieces together is coming undone. She stumbles forward and falls into their arms. She buries her face in their shoulders, her touch aversion all but melting away for the needed moment of contact. She cries, probably leaving tears on both of their shirts, but neither of them care at all.

In fact, the only thing either of them seems to care about right now is keeping Lena’s fallen-apart pieces together while she can’t do that herself.

She takes a deep breath, shaky and hurting. Both of them wrap their arms around her, hold her close, and she feels… safe. Right there, held between the two of them in the same way they hug their daughter, Lena knows she’s where she belongs.

This is her family, and her home.

Among the tears and aching heart, she smiles, and somehow she knows they both understand. They get it, through some mixture of experience and empathy, and they’re willing to help. And if, moments later when Violet comes in, she lets Vi join in the embrace, well… that’s okay. It’s okay to need people.

The rain starts to pour down, and Lena is grateful to be inside, to be warm, to be safe… and to be loved.


End file.
